Please Don't Feed the Animals

First things first: Happy 100th post.

Ok, so at the zoo and places where there are animals being held captive, they have signs that say "PLEASE DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS". Today at work, I was greeting. (AKA: sitting at the front of the store, it's like a glorified walmart greeter, and it's awful.) While greeting, an old man came and told me a joke that was SUPER lame, as most old men jokes are. He sat there and laughed at himself and then rubbed his hand on my arm as a friendly little "I am so funny" gesture. His hands were so gross. I don't think I've ever felt hands that rough and dry and flat out GROSS!!!!

It was at this point that I decided we need a sign on the greeter desk that says "PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THE GREETER".

I am reaching the point where I absolutely dread greeting not because it is the most boring thing ever, but because I really can't handle the old men any more. They either think they are the funniest thing to ever walk the planet, or they sit there and manage to make the most awkward comments about how beautiful you are, or they make fun of you for having such an easy job. (Because when they were young...AHHHHHHHHH!) I hate it. I mean there are some old men that I love dearly, like my grandfathers, both great men. But my goodness, the sassy old man thing, I can't take it anymore.

What do ya think Smalley?