For the last few days I've had this big paper to write. As much as I wanted to get it done, it never became a stress to me. Today, in my women's health issues class we discussed mental illness, mostly related to depression and stress. The teacher went around the class of about sixty people and we all had to say something that causes us stress and how we deal with it. I couldn't believe how easily some people get stressed over little things, if I got stressed about the things they do, my life would FALL APART. Thank goodness I am used to chaos in life, I am practically a pro at managing it. For those that new me in high school, you can vouch for me on this. I had been talking with a friend earlier in the day about everything I've got going on and he couldn't understand why I wasn't falling apart. I responded by saying that falling apart when I've got so much going on isn't going to get anything accomplished, I've got to keep moving, it's simple.
So as the mic came to me in class to say what stresses me out, there was only one thing that crossed my mind that could even possibly make me stress. And, unfortunately, it is the one thing that I will not talk about on a public blog. However, I didn't want to share that with the class, because I don't know if I would really classify the situation as a stress. So when I took my turn, this is basically what I said. "I am just like the rest of you, I work, I am a student nearing graduation, I have a calling that I worry about and a lot of people that I care about in my life to try my hardest to make happy. But I don't let these things become a stressor to me. I can feel the point when I am about to break into stress, I am very familiar with it. So I know the signs, and those are the times when step back and tell myself that everything is going to be ok and that I just need to calm down. There is no need to stress, it is all going to be ok. The important things will get done, I just need to do my best, that's all I can do. Then I sit back and make sure that I am enjoying life, because I believe that you should enjoy life before stressing over it." The last part was kind of profound I thought. But it's true, I really don't let things stress me. I work things out when I see an issue, I channel any emotions that could lead to stress mostly to physcial activity, music and prayer. That's all I need to get by. It was so great to reflect and see how far I've come and how much I have grown up over the last couple years with all of this.
I left class early because we had a Relief Society birthday party tonight. It was catered by Costa Vida. It was delicious. It wasn't Cafe Rio, but it was still food that was prepared and delicious that I didn't have to pay for. We just ate and chilled. Here were a few of the words that were said that brought a literal warmth to my heart, for whatever reason.
Sister Connie Stauffer (1st counselor's wife): She spoke about the importance of visiting teaching and how it played a large role in her returning to activity in the church. It was a very touching and was inspiring and made me want to strive to be a better visiting teacher. I have never been good at visiting teaching, but I am trying to be better. She also played an inspiring piece that she wrote with piano and lyrics about prayers being heard and answered, it was so beautiful and fitting to the last few days of my life. Ah! I love the power of prayer, so great.
Trish (bishop's wife): She talked about how there are times when we feel like maybe turning our noses up at other sisters in relief society or how we might not feel like relief society is important, but she testified of how great relief society has been for her, even though most of her time in the church has been spent in primary or young women's. It was so great to hear them testify of relief society, I loved it.
Bishop Barney: Incredible man. I love him, and I hardly know him. He talked for a few minutes on the phrase "after all we can do". The second those words came out of his mouth I just wanted to shout it to the world that the church is true.
This is where the post gets slightly deep and more personal. Feel free to stop reading, or continue, I don't really care, this just has to be put down for the sake of my journal. As some of you may know, the last two months have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I have held together really well, all things considered. I can honestly say that I have spent literally hours on my knees trying to figure out what is going on in my life. When I drive home at night from work or wherever I may be, I frequently find myself parked at the temple to pray and ponder. I have spent time fasting, I have gone into the temple for baptisms to be in the house of the Lord as I seek guidance and answers. I have felt the Spirit burning within me and I have been able to experience the blessings of the atonement more than ever before. The last few days as I have prayed, I have knelt there just praying for patience and comfort and for my feet to be placed where they need to be, because I honestly feel like I have done everything that I can do at this point. As I laid in bed last night after saying my prayers, I just let the tears run down my face because of the incredible amount of peace I felt. I understand that everything is not better, it will still be hard, but I just found so much comfort in knowing that I have done everything I can and that I will be taken care of. I have absolute trust that things will work out the way they should. I can't say what that way will be, but my faith is strong and growing stronger everyday. It just floored me that the bishop would talk about doing all we can we can, it's like he was telling me the story of my life, it was so great!! It was one of those tender mercies that let me know that I am doing the right things in my life.
Alma 36:3 Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.
1 comment:
You are such a good example, I wish I could be more like you. I was almost envious when you said you handle stress really well. If I EVER heard those words come out of my mouth it would be a real-life miracle! I'm so tightly-wound about so many things, and I hate it. I get stressed really easily and then I tend to take it out on those around me. And I'm sure you would be surprised at the little things that get on my nerves. You are so awesome! And so in tune with the Spirit and the Lord. Thanks for being such an awesome example. I'm giving you a virtual hug!
p.s. on a non-deep note, I have found a song that for SOME reason made me think of you but I don't know why, and I keep waiting to see you at work to tell you about it but you've been MIA, or maybe I have. Remind me to tell you about it!
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