Meet Emilee Maine

Just about everyday I ride the bus I think to myself that I should start a blog and dedicate it solely to the weird things that happen on the UTA buses. Today, I got on the bus riding home from RC Willey, so I was all dressed up in slacks, ya know. So I sit down and there is this black guy with a black beanie, and a black bushy beard, (almost bummish, but not quite) looks at me, and blatantly moves across the bus so he can sit by me. He instantly asks me about my pearls and where I got them. I gave him an honest answer and said, "Oh, I got them at Target for six dollars". Even if they were real, I wouldn't tell him for fear he would rip them away from my neck. He went on to talk about how he can make pearl jewelery. Cool, gold star for you, too bad there are no pearls laying around in this part of the world. He then shook my hand and asked for my name. He shook left handed though which is always awkward. So I put up my left hand and shook his, annnnnnnndddd...he wouldn't let go, I had to pull my hand out, literally. He then said that I shook with the wrong hand. Duh, you did it first, what was I supposed to do? So after his pestering I finally just shook his left with my right, weird. Again, he held onto my hand. Really? Who does that? Creeps. That's who. I tried to avoid the part of him asking my name, but he wouldn't drop it, but there was no way I was telling him my real name. Not a chance, I already made that mistake with other people. And I couldn't tell him Frizz, because that wouldn't sound legit. So, I am pleased to introduce Emilee Maine. I told him my name was Emilee and that I was 21. Emilee is from St. George, Utah and is studying at BYU. My sister has a fake name and story for when she is out of the country so I decided to adopt this habit. I will shortly be purchasing a ring from walmart or target, whichever I get to first. I never wanted to stoop to the level of wearing a fake wedding ring, but I just feel so scared having all these weird guys hitting on me while I ride the bus. It was flattering the first time, but it is getting out of hand and I really don't like it. Anyways, that's Emilee. Now for the rest of the story, because it gets worse. The 3rd question he asks is, and I quote, "Have you ever been in love?" WHAT!?!?!?!?!!! Really? I don't even talk about that with most people that I'm close to!! I told him no and he just talked about love for a minute. Most of what he said the entire bus ride I didn't hear, and I couldn't read his lips because of his big beard, so the old "smile and nod technique" was whipped out. After he was done talking about love, he asked what tribe I was from. At this point, I just didn't care enough to be nice. I had been nice to stupid people for 8 hours, (we had some crazies at work today) and I just didn't want to deal with it. I asked him what he meant by tribe, thinking there's no waaaaaay he would be talking about the tribes of Israel. He looked at me like I was a lost soul and said, "oh, have you never had a patriarchal blessing?" So I told him I had and he said, well, what's your tribe? I looked at him and said, "That really isn't for you to know." He asked a few more times and I just shot it down. Not that it is a super personal thing, but there is no reason on the face of the planet that he should ask questions like that after 5 minutes. It was ridiculous. I got off at the next stop and ran into the mall to shop it off. I found some way cute stuff at Head Over Heels, a fabulous new store, and Charlotte Russe. I didn't buy any of it, go me, practicing self control. For anybody who knows me even kinda of, knows that if I see something cute at charlotte russe that fits, I get it, I can't help it. But tonight, I didn't and there were three, all on sale. :D Anyways, moral of the story, I am sick of creeps on the bus and will forever more make sure I have a fake ring and an ear bud in each ear, hopefully that will send the message that I don't want to be hit on, but they have all been pretty daft up to this point, so maybe they won't get it, who knows?